


I've Got Your Back - Always

by gluedwithgold



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Depressed Jared, Love, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Support, Supportive Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8774503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gluedwithgold/pseuds/gluedwithgold
Summary: Jared is having a rough time, but, as always, Jensen is there.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brokenlittleboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenlittleboy/gifts).



> Gift for the 2016 SPN J2 Xmas Exchange.
> 
> As always, my unending thanks to [non_tiembo_mala](http://archiveofourown.org/users/non_tiembo_mala) and  
> [Dancing Adrift](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift)  
> for their constant and unwavering love, support, encouragement, inspiration and beta reading. I love you both!

Jensen balanced the bag of cookies on top of the tray holding the two gigantic cups of cocoa while he keyed into the apartment, nudging the door wide with his shoulder then kicking it shut again with his foot. He set his handful down on the table next to the door while he unwrapped himself from his cocoon of scarf and hat and bulky winter coat, kicked his boots off onto the small mat for the snow to melt from them.

The apartment was quiet, dark except for the glow of multi-colored lights wrapped around the tree – an excessive amount of lights, Jensen thought, but Jared liked them. Picking up the treats again, Jensen padded through the living room in his socks over to the big bay windows and sunk down to the floor to join Jared where he still sat, arms wrapped tightly around his knees, gazing up at the Christmas tree.

Jensen nudged Jared’s shoulder with his own, offering up one of the tall cardboard cups and dropping the bag between them. He only glanced at Jared briefly, turning his attention to the tree and sipping at his cocoa, waiting for Jared to be ready to talk.

Jared only took one hesitant sip from his cup, then let his gaze drop to where he turned it in his hands slowly. A few minutes passed in silence before he took a deep breath and set the cup down on the floor off to the side, then leaned back to reach into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small object. He wiped at his eyes with his free hand then turned slightly to face Jensen.

“I… um…” Jared paused, cleared his throat. “I need you to do me a favor.”

“Okay.” Jensen’s voice was just as quiet as Jared’s, the atmosphere in the apartment, the intimacy between them, seeming to demand it. “Anything, Jay. Of course.”

“I… I need you to keep these for me,” Jared said, ducking his head slightly as he handed the object in his hand to Jensen. Taking the small bottle between his fingers, Jensen turned it so he could read the label. His prescription sleeping pills, the ones Jared took occasionally to break the cycle of insomnia, were now in Jensen’s care, and the reason for it didn’t escape him.

Jensen took in a deep breath, let it out with a sigh as he tucked the bottle into his own pocket. He was quiet for a moment, fighting back his own tears, gathering up all his strength for Jared, for the man he loved. A fast-forward replay of the past few months spun through Jensen’s head, all the pieces leading to this moment falling into place, drawing a clear picture – Jared getting laid off from his job, struggling to pay rent, the stress of insufficient finances causing him to fall behind in his classes, the late nights and all-nighters for the past few weeks while he tried, desperately, to catch up, his final grade report arriving in the mail last week confirming all his fears (two courses failed, the other two barely passed) and then yesterday, the last straw, the call from his parents telling him Harley, his childhood dog, had succumbed to the cancer and they’d finally had to have him put down.

Jensen scooted around on the floor to face Jared, shimmying close and sliding his feet over Jared’s thighs and around to his back, his arms wrapping around Jared’s shoulders and tugging him close. Jared melted into the embrace, his head falling to the curve of Jensen’s neck, his breath warm and unsteady against his collar. Jensen leaned his chin against the top of Jared’s head.

He could feel the sobs more than hear them, Jared’s chest hitching with each exhale, his hands fisting and tugging the back of Jensen’s shirt. Jensen just held on tighter, pulled Jared closer, their bodies impossibly compact.

“Baby…” Jensen whispered into Jared’s hair, one hand coming up to cup the back of his head, the other pressing firmly against his back. “We’ll get through this, okay? I’m here, baby, I’ll help you through this.”

Jared gripped Jensen tighter, one loud sob pushing out from his chest at hearing Jensen’s words. His tears flowed faster now, Jensen could feel them soaking warm through his shirt. He didn’t say any more yet, just let Jared cry in his arms, his own heart breaking over and over, repaired each time with the strength he knew his boyfriend needed from him. Eventually Jared calmed, his breathing evening out. Slowly, Jensen pulled away to meet Jared’s eyes, thumbed away the remnants of tears and gave him a gentle smile.

“Jay, thank you.” Jensen smiled a little wider at Jared’s slightly confused look. “Thank you for giving me those pills. For trusting me to help you. You’re so strong for doing that, baby, and that’s how I know you’ll get through this. You’re so strong.”

Jared’s lips turned up just a bit, just a hint of a smile while another drop escaped over the edge of his eye. He nodded his understanding, one shaky hand on Jensen’s shoulder gripping tightly.

“I love you, Jay,” Jensen continued. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, so whatever it takes, we’ll get you through this. You’re not alone, not for a second, okay?”

Jared nodded, then dropped his head, meeting Jensen forehead to forehead. “I love you, too,” he whispered. 

Jensen threaded his fingers into Jared’s hair, pulling it back away from his face, then leaned in, pressing his lips, soft as a ghost, to Jared’s. They lingered there, lips tight together, limbs entangled, quiet and warmth embracing them both, holding them safe.

When Jensen pulled gently away, Jared took in a slow, deep breath and let it out just as slow, steady now.

“Let’s go get some sleep, okay?” Jensen gave Jared one more peck on the lips, waited a moment for his nod of agreement before untangling himself and standing. He waited patiently for Jared to get himself up from the floor, then took his love’s hand in his own, leading him to the bedroom, cookies and cocoa left forgotten on the floor.


End file.
